Friday, February 15, 2008

Steve Kelley claims that Baseball takes a hit, but the game will survive.

We need look no further to see just how delusional we've become about sport. "The game will survive." Yeah, sure it will. There really is no possibility it won't, if for no other reason that governments have gotten into the glory of the National Pastime(tm) in a big way. We built them stadiums. We gave teams tax breaks. They have dedicated sports channels. Sports stars are celebrities. And we want to believe it is all for the glory of sport. The game will survive because we choose to continue to ignore the man behind the curtain.

When it comes right down to it, we want to see the big hits on Sunday. We know chicks dig the long ball. A sure thing is a "slam-dunk." The NHL tells us there are "rules not enforced by the guys in stripes." NASCAR says "if you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'" (And extra style points for saying it with the glorified bubba southern red-neck accent.)

And then we're pissed when we're told someone deceived us! We were cheated! Virgins, run for your lives, nazi frogmen inbound and hide the weenie, run for the damn hills! Help help! Someone call WADA, dial 1-800-DICK4CAS and have some congressional hearings, because The Game must survive. Yea, for The Game must become more like the Olympics and cycling, for they have shown us the way! Praise be to Dick; round up the usual suspects. Just don't put Roger the First in jail; Free Barry. Hold the asterisks. The Game must survive.

Screw The Game.

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